but when i do, i write about you.
i write about that first day of high school. i was 14 years of awkwardly terrified, but in that moment i fell hopelessly in love with the 14 years of tall blonde blue eyes that sat next to me in math class. his name lived on every page of my notebook, filled every space of my brain, and occupied each and every corner of my heart.
i write about the day when i finally muttered the words i love you and you turned the other way. and i write about the day when you finally realized the mistake you had made and kissed me straight through 3rd period. and 4th.
i write about the meals we shared, movies we watched, pictures we took, and the smiles that tied together 5 years worth of happy.
but i also write about how my first love left my life on a friday night. a friday night in the month of october- he didn’t even have to speak a word because his body had already told me it was over.
and sometimes in order to end a chapter you must close the whole book, leaving time for the spine to heal. but those pages mend and new books are written. but this, the first, will always be the one i write about; my first hello and my very favorite goodbye.