perception.

i am flawed. i have a head comprised of rapidly firing neurons that create an overly stimulated brain whose activation results in the my tendency to seek social inhibition. “excuse me?” i said that i prefer books over movies and a coffee date over a kegger. what picks you up can more often than not tear me down. i enjoy being alone but have an intense fear of the word lonely.

i am flawed. i place everyone else’s needs before myself and usually at the expense of my own sanity. “are you okay? let me help you.” is my very own broken record and i swear if i had a dime for every single time i took responsibility for your mistakes, i would be a freaking millionaire. no, make that billionaire.

i am flawed.  bossy, controlling, crazy, type A, and the freak of nature with OCD; one, any, or all of the above will suffice. i need things my way, but if you were to just ask me to consider the highway, i would probably do it. i am three parts organized and one part chaos, but usually i am all parts too over whelming for most.

i am flawed. i fall too damn fast, way too hard, and far too easily for blue eyes. and let me tell ya, whenever i see her stare into yours my achilles heel of jealously and insecurity takes over, throwing me into a spiral of paralyzing comparison and why not me? i crave the mere sight of your smile when you are not there and my biggest fear is that you do not feel the same way.

i am flawed. and if you were to search the word “flawed” in the dictionary, there would be a picture of my 8th grade graduation, right before the anxiety and depression kicked in. i cannot trust, but need to be trusted. and i can only see beauty when looking outward into a broken mirror. please don’t give up on me; i’m getting there.

i am flawed. i am introverted. i am selfless. i am a leader. i am a lover. and i am a fighter.

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