i don’t like the word lie, so i preferred to say omission.
it just seemed easier. in the very same way it seemed easier to to turn a blind eye every single time i would write he instead of she in all of my poems.
it has been two years of hopeless dates, hiding the truth, and faking it until i prayed that one day i’d just break it.
omission is not a lie; i would sob to myself on days that i wanted to break the most. those days where i would pray that maybe i just haven’t met the right guy yet. or possibly i’m just not ready for a long term love.
omission is not a lie.
well, one turned into two, and two turned into three and before i knew it i was spilling the most hidden depths of me. the outside now held the words that made me believe omission was not a lie and the part of me that i fought to love the most. the part of me i was willing to omit, rather than just admit that omission is a lie.
and it became a lie the day i declared that love is love. the minute i decided to accept the reflection staring back at me. the very second i chose to share this with the world.
omission is a lie.
i now open up my omitted and breathe for now you are not permitted to keep me from writing she instead of he.